WASHINGTON D.C. (CAP) - A new study conducted by the Pew Research Center shows that the new Transformers movie, Transformers: Dark Of The Moon is actually the same movie as 2009's Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen, and more than 80 percent identical to 2007's original Transformers.
"Some of the scenes are in a different order, and the soundtrack has been altered slightly," said Dr. Francis Spitznagel of the Pew Center. "But for all intents and purposes they're the same movie - you could watch the first half of the second one and the second half of the third one and not notice more than a marginal difference."
In fact, the study shows that for most of Transformers: Dark Of The Moon, the only difference is the digital insertion of Victoria's Secret model Rosie Huntington-Whiteley into several scenes that had previously featured Megan Fox.
"Although even in those cases, our researchers determined that Huntington-Whiteley was more than 80 percent identical to Fox," Spitznagel noted.
As for star Shia LaBeouf, the study determined that all three movies combined (total running times: 9 1/2 hours) required no more than 25 minutes of footage of LaBeouf, possibly 15 minutes if it turns out his facial expressions were changed digitally in post-production.
"Not that they changed that much," noted Spitzagel.
To perform the study, Spitznagel's team of researchers dissected all three movies frame by frame, which resulted in at least three of them being admitted to Georgetown University Hospital suffering from mental exhaustion and hearing loss.
"Subsequent examination showed they had actually lost 8-10 IQ points," said Spitznagel, who noted many of the researchers begged to be put back on the study counting pictures of cats on the Internet.
The study comes on the heels of the rumors posted at both TMZ and PerezHilton.com that the recent Pirates Of The Caribbean sequel, Pirates Of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, was actually cobbled together from outtakes from the first three movies and footage of the animatronic Johnny Depp from the Pirates Of The Caribbean ride at Disney World.
"Oh no he din't! Oh yes he did! Z-snap!" wrote Hilton, who used his white marker to draw a beard and moustache on Depp on his website, for no apparent reason.
Meanwhile, critics have not been kind to the new Transformers. Film critic Roger Ebert, who gave the film a one-star review, Tweeted yesterday, "Friends don't let jackasses see Transformers: Dark Of The Moon." This prompted angry notes and death threats from director Michael Bay's family and friends, all of them signed "Michael Bay's friend," "Michael Bay's mother," etc.
Bay himself had no comment other than to deny rumors that all three Transformers movies were assembled without human involvement by a computer program he bought from James Cameron for $50 million. Meanwhile, representatives for the band Pink Floyd have filed suit against Bay, arguing that the new sequel's title could tarnish the reputation of their classic album, 1973's The Dark Side Of The Moon.
"Anyone who thought The Wall was hard to follow should see one of these bloody rubbish movies," said bassist Roger Waters.
- CAP News Staff